By kokopelli
Reviews
Wolfric posted a comment on Saturday 15th November 2014 4:19am
Great chapter. I look forward to the next installment with great anticipation. Thanks for writing. W.
Kokopelli replied:
Thanks for reading.
Pennywise posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 10:56pm
Awesome chapter. Damn Astoria is a little devil lol.
Kokopelli replied:
Astoria's got issues, which will hopefully resolve soon.
ZanyMuggle posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 5:43pm
The "walks through shadows" thing is very similar to an idea I have for a Harry reboot. I hope your reason for the ability is not the same as what I have planned.
As for this chapter, Harry needs to learn to look for listening charms himself! What would Moody say? Also, he should check for potions and poisons in food!
Bigger issues loom though. could Astoria actually be trying to make sure Harry is good enough for Daphne, or even trying to get Harry to commit?
OTOH, could Astoria be trying to make Harry think she's trying to help Daphne so that Harry will admire (or even think seriously about) Astoria?
It just seems, from the way I'm reading what you've written, that something other than the sibling rivalry is really going on.
And something is really off about Daphne pulling a knife on Astoria. Maybe Daphne is trying to get the real story from Stori, so to speak.
As always, thank you for writing and providing a high quality (and free!) fix for my HP FF addiction.
Kokopelli replied:
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
S. Freud
Patches posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 4:15pm
This is an amazing chapter. Astoria has really messed up. She has pushed her luck to the limit. Now Daphne has decided that she has gone too far. Astoria has hurt Harry and that is not to be allowed. I hope Daphne changes her mind but in a way maybe she shouldn't. Astoria is a loaded gun in the hands of an idiot. I look forward to more of this story. Thanks for writing. p
Kokopelli replied:
That's a lot of the problem with the Wizarding world - lots of power, not much sense.
Astoria's 13 - she has the body of a high school cheerleader, but she still has the judgment of a 13 year old girl.
The Seeker posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 4:02pm
Wow!!! Perfect ending - I really do think you ended it at the right point. Continuing would have added many, many words to your already lengthy chapter. This will give us time to pause and figure out what will happen and the ramifications. I've seen the competition between Daphne and Astoria as nothing more than that between sisters, though magical ones who are very talented and intelligent.
Unless you've intended to make this story very negative and, for me at least, heartbreaking, since I've grown to like and admire Daphne, I can't see you having D kill Astoria. I'm hoping Daphne is doing this to scare the crap out of her younger sister, in the hope that she will finally realize how manipulative and competitive she is. Technically, I guess Daphne could kill her, based on Malcolm's decision concerning Astoria's actions in Harry's bedroom. But that would be making Daphne judge, jury and executioner. Well, enough of my probably erroneous speculations.
I've probably said this before, but it bears repeating. The 17,000+ words in this chapter read more like 7,000, because the writing was superb. You've created fantastic characters and placed them in very interesting situations, then added some unique family magic as a bonus, not to mention Harry's flying lesson and the ride with Daphne. I also wonder whether it was coincidental that Astoria ended hanging upside down after her flight through the barn, which was similar to what happened to Snape in Harry's story. If you did parallel the two, then it may mean Daphne does kill Astoria and Harry would terminate the relationship as Lily did with Severus.
Regardless which way you take us, this remains a fascinating, well written story. Thanks for your efforts and those of Tim and GardenGirl. - The Seeker
Kokopelli replied:
You know, when I got to this point in the original writing, I realized that I could take this in different directions, and I played with that, but declined this time around. All the clues are in the story.
sstabeler posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 3:56pm
wow- I assume that Astoria's not actually going to get killed, but this chapter was quite a difference to other chapters. I think Astoria needs to be a bit more careful, and Daphne should probably be a bit less quick to jump to conclusions about her sister! ( as it stands, it looks a bit too close to comfort to Daphne looking for an excuse to kill Astoria- which I doubt very much is true.)
still, a pretty good chapter- even if the way the mood swung back and forth could give whiplash. Looking forward to the next one, though I wish it wouldn't be on a cliffhanger for a week.
Kokopelli replied:
Daphne sincerely believes that Astoria just tried to kill Harry.
jilumasam posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 3:44pm
woah!! I remember you saying in a review that there was a bit of a wild ride to come.
That was a fantastic chapter!
I'm really loving the Daphne and midget interactions (who wants plain old boring sibling rivalry?) and I really, really hope the cliffie doesn't mean what it's going to mean...
Incidentally I love the idea that Riddle was a bit of a nut for further knowledge and spell design/modification. I'm glad Harry is getting some use out of all that knowledge.
It's not just the chapters you write that are great, I've forgotten how much fun it is to read reviews when the author replies to them, so thanks for doing so :D
Thank you so much for writing, I appreciate it very much.
Kokopelli replied:
The ride doesn't stop here... (heh, heh, heh).
Brian64 posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 3:41pm
Wow, what a great chapter in what is a great story. yours is definitely one of the story alerts I most look forward to getting. I'm not sure I can point to anything specific that I like more than anything else, as I enjoyed all of it. When I started reading Daphne's diary entry I remember thinking "Oh damnit, I don't want this chapter to end now..." And it didn't. I'm not sure what to think about the shadow walking ability, as it seems to me that could be used to great effect if you wanted to perform some assassinations... for example, if you were a lord of an area (like Marr), and wanted to protect your family and the people you are responsible for from Death Eaters. On the other hand, I suppose demonstrating an ability to 'inexplicably' get to people and serving up such warnings might make the grimoire seem even more desirable. Oh well, I find it an intriguing possibility to ponder anyway. Astoria... Wow, that situation with Daphne and her knife at the end is certainly going to create some challenges no matter which way you slice it. Very much looking forward to seeing what happens next. and thanks again for writing.
Kokopelli replied:
The shadows has a lot of potential - but that's for another story.
Riegert8 posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 2:54pm
I am not surprise that Astoria got a harsh punishment
BJH posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 2:49pm
Wow, nice chapter! At first I really liked how the Daphne and Astoria dynamic was working, breaking out into a normal sort of dysfunction that is typical of real families. But now you have Daphne believing that Astoria was truly trying to kill Harry, which leads us to two possibilities. One, Astoria was trying to seriously injure either Daphne or Harry in which she is seriously psychotic and deserves to marry Malfoy; or two, she wasn't and will have to do some major apologizing when Harry stops her. How will he stop her you ask? I don't recall you saying they took the "sharing magic" suits off so regardless of his being in shadow land he can influence her magic.
I also liked the portrayal of Tom as "twisted as a corkscrew" but seriously knowledgable on obscure magic.
BJH
migele posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 1:04pm
Good touch on the drama. It was all going a bit to perfectly. The shadow world reminds me more of the d&d equivalent. And I'm very impressed with your cliffhanger. Aside of that nice touch on the progression again. Sort of sweet beside the drama. That said I really enjoy your clueless Harry. Which is what he should be considering his social upbringing. Laters Migi
scribbler posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 11:31am
HOLY S***. Talk about a cliff-hanger. Either Daphne kills her and ends up almost losing Harry because she's done so, or someone intervenes at the very last minute. Either way, it's going to be rough.
WOW.
Kokopelli replied:
As I've said in other answers, Daphne seriously believes that Astori just tried to kill Harry.
Jason9 posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 11:14am
Whoa whoa whoa - no need to take shots at Jim Butcher! Let's leave poor Molly out of this!
Kokopelli replied:
Molly? The first Harry Dresden novel was printed in 2000, and this story takes place a bit earlier than that.
I'm a Dresden fan, and the scene was indeed inspired by Molly and the cold beer bottle.
amulder posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 11:00am
John, John, I *do* hate cliffhangers...
Otherwise, that was simply loverly, and I'm quite enjoying.
Kokopelli replied:
Well, I can't break all of the conventions of fan fiction, can I?
Thanks
strandale posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 10:47am
i am going to assume that Daphne is just trying to scare the living lumos out of Astoria as a HUGE warning and that she's actually moving to cut her from where she got tangled in. Evil wench.
question for harry - how is he really taking the pace at which this relationship is going, especially before and after the events of torigate?
Kokopelli replied:
Daphne believes that Astoria just tried to kill Harry.
Harry rather much feels like he's being carried by an avalanche, but for the most part he's okay with that.
HermioneGreen posted a comment on Friday 14th November 2014 10:26am
I can only hope that the murmured "help me" from Daphne activates some pull from the betrothal bond and we see Harry, appear from the shadows and restrain Daphne before she harms her sister - because that would make Daphne sad, and Harry is supposed to make her happy ...
I loved this chapter and the way the relationship between Harry and Daphne is developing. I didn't so much like the way the chapter ended in the middle of a scene. Could you perhaps update sooner than next week?
Kokopelli replied:
Oh, come on, the tradition of the evil cliff hanger is a long standing tradition in fan fiction.
As to what happens in the next chapter, that will wait until the next chapter is released. Six is done, seven is almost done.
Alun Lewis posted a comment on Monday 10th November 2014 9:33pm
Hmmm...things are at an apex, huh? And Ron's apparently a skilled cardshark working the casinos of Macau? I'm getting a feeling that the downward plunge will relate to certain matters...
Fantastic story so far! I especially love how Harry and Daphne are feeling their way toward being the best couple ever with the help of Hermione and Grace :D
Kokopelli replied:
It's hard to write positively about Ron. So I put him off stage and let him live life outside of the shadow of Harry Potter.
dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Monday 10th November 2014 2:42pm
NIce work, I've enjoyed the way this story is developing.
Kokopelli replied:
Me too.
sylvelle posted a comment on Saturday 8th November 2014 7:51pm
wrote of the Marr, a Ginny Harry storry. No don't remember.
Excellent chapter. Liked it very much.
Tricia
Kokopelli replied:
I don't understand your first sentence,
Thanks for reviewing.
gadriam posted a comment on Saturday 15th November 2014 4:46am
Kokopelli replied: