By kokopelli
Reviews
sylvelle posted a comment on Saturday 8th November 2014 4:51pm
Interesting Chapter. Very nice.
Thanks
Tricia
cephis posted a comment on Saturday 8th November 2014 8:35am
The story is very organic, I like the handling of the Harry/Hermoine dynamic. They are a little to clever, like a good sitcom. Real people only think of such awesome things to say afterwards. I am enjoying it very much and like your style. I toss a virtual coin for being well played and offer imaginary brownies for the next chapter
Kokopelli replied:
How could it not be organic with a beta like GardenGirl?
Thanks for the brownies, how did you know I prefer the ones without nuts?
Patches posted a comment on Saturday 8th November 2014 4:58am
I really like this story. It seems that Harry is starting to reach out to Daphne and she is very happy about that. Negotiating their next date seems to becoming easier for both of them. I love the picknick. It seems that they have made quite a bit of progress. I look forward to more of this story. Thanks for writing. p
Kokopelli replied:
Another picnic to come in the following chapter. ;-)
Wolfric posted a comment on Saturday 8th November 2014 3:27am
Fine chapter. I don't mind a slow pace as long as it is going somewhere, it just makes more to read. Thanks for writing. W.
Kokopelli replied:
Back when I was serious about writing fanfic (which is somewhat a contradiction in terms) I termed certain chapters as "moving the pieces around" the sole purpose of which was putting things into position for later chapters.
Pennywise posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 11:54pm
Awesome chapter.
Kokopelli replied:
Thanks for your kind words.
migele posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 7:03pm
Response:
You know, I've never understood the attraction of having a harem.
Having been married for 30+ years, the notion of having multiple women in my life, all of whom could be mad at me at the same time is not very appealing.
----
exactly.
I love sweet bits with a single character. my favourite is Hermione because they could be good together, then side or off the books chars. I don't approve of the canon pairings. Not with the characters as they are.
Congrats on your marriage then. On my side, I do have a son but because of lies and infedilety it had to be broken appart. maybe that is why I approve of sweet happy ends and characters overcoming everything and being true to each other.
Kokopelli replied:
I can write an action sequence (but I suck at it)
I can write conversation.
What I have real problems with is multi-threaded conversations or big group discussions.
Sigh - the art is long, but the life is short.
FeNo posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 5:11pm
Oh that#s a nice plan Daphne has. Although it really only would be like reaching out a hand to the small rest of that pureblood insular population and ask them if they want to accompany the rest of the magical people into the future or rather prefer to die out slowly and with big pains in their own bog of corruption, self-complacency and antiquated worldviews...
I liked the mirror call, the mother-daughter-bonding over pictures and wonderbras and the sweet moments between harry and his betrothed... a very pleasant collection of intelligent scenes and dialogues you don't find in just about any fic around the internets... :)
Kokopelli replied:
Thanks for your kind words.
WhiteElfElder posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 1:05pm
Nice little interlude for them in which they get to know one another a bit more. The bit about taking Harry riding is such an innuendo.
Kokopelli replied:
Innuendo? Not from where I sit.
I plot out the story arc and then write to fill in the gaps. I've always had a number of scenes, including the Harry & Daphne go riding and Harry & Daphne go flying on the story board.
No, it's not like the Buckbeak flying scene - not at all - don't even think of that!
The Seeker posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 12:41pm
Oh my, this was superlative! You write interactions so well, and especially so, when the two people like/love each other, as with Grace and Daphne, then Daphne and Harry. The conversations flowed, carried a world of emotion, and each sounded just right. The insights into these people were telling, expanding how much I like them.
Daphne will beome a beautiful woman, because Harry thinks she is. He will ensure that she has topics and activities that make her excited, so he can see how beautiful his betrothed will become. They are truly the saviors to be for Magical Britain, though at this time, I don't think MB deserves them. Grace's story was both gut- and heart-wrenching. It says worlds about her that she has become this wonderful mum and partner to the Baron. The continuing faux competition between Daphne and the midget is smile worthy, especially with Grace calling her daughter that. Wonderful touch that she could have a child after the abuse she went through. 'I - don't - care,' what a great way to help Daphne understand that what's important to Harry is who she is, not her exterior features. Her thanking Hermione out loud was really funny! And finally, Harry's 'and I love you, too, Hermione,' after the mirrors had closed was a wonderful way to show that he's improving in expressing his feelings, though sometimes reluctantly and a bit slowly.
What a pleasure this story is! Thanks for all your work. - The Seeker
Kokopelli replied:
You know, if I write it right, the really good scenes make me cry. This chapter had a lot of those.
The competition between Daphne and the midget is not fake.
Astoria was a surprise baby - which is the way these things often work out (says the father of three children who went through two infertility workups - not a lot of fun).
And yes, Astoria is a mini-me version of her mother, who is one of those women who will never lose her charm as she ages.
Riegert8 posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 12:22pm
I find this to be an interesting story, but I waiting to see how you make Ron look in the future chapters. I happen to like Ron as a character, I don't see him as a lazy person. But a person that will only work hard on things that interest him.
Kokopelli replied:
You will be waiting a long time.
Ron's in Macau, and will be staying there for a couple of years. He's going to spend a stint as a professional gambler and unfortunately he's good enough at it that he's making enough money to live.
I don't find a lot to admire about Ron in canon - he's rude, lazy, inconsiderate, prone to fits of jealousy and ill mannered. Other than playing chess and reading about Quidditch, I don't see Ron really applying himself in canon - except when he's trying to master the lessons on how to win witches (book 6 I think).
I don't see Ron as being evil - although evil Ron is easy to write. Any time, however, you write mature Ron or successful Ron, you don't have a lot of material to work with in canon.
In my Lost and Found Trilogy, I had Ron working as a radio announcer.
OSF posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 11:28am
FYI: Apparently a woman can be stimulated to lactate even if she hasn't had a child. She puts a tube down her breast so the child gets milk while sucking her nipple. The milk keeps the child sucking and the sucking action will stimulate milk production. During our first child's gestation my wife looked a lot of stuff like this up. She took great joy telling me it worked on men, too.
Thanks for writing,
OSF
Kokopelli replied:
Yes, Muggles do have ways of stimulating lactation.
The lactating charm was invented by Priscilla Bowalter in the late 1700's and has been a staple in the Midwitch practice since then.
It was most often used when mothers would die in childbirth and no wet-nurse was available. Sisters, mothers or aunts of the deceased mother were most often sought out, although it was also successful when used with females unrelated to the nursing infant.
scribbler posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 11:05am
AWESOME CHAPTER. You really have a knack for writing a love-story and you've completely outdone yourself with this. Daphne was a character who was pretty much a tabula rasa in the books and you've made her come alive. I also love the fact that you've woven Harry's back story in without making it look difficult at all.
GREAT JOB!! I'm posting this chapter to my FB account so that people can see it.
Kokopelli replied:
thanks for your kind words
hoppy159 posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 10:33am
Another excellent chapter. The story about how Grace came to meet and marry Daphne's father was very touching, and really expanded the charachters, made them very human. I did wonder how Grace got pregnant with Astoria, if she was rendered sterile from her first marriage. Maybe it was magic, I'd guess I'll have to settle for that in my own mind. I also loved Daphne's vision for the future. She's spot on. Change is needed in wizarding Britain, or it's going to die. I think Harry, with his combined resources, and Daphne, with her background, may be able to bring it about. Sometimes, when I'm feeling vindictive thinking about the rampant prejudices displayed by wizards, I wonder if it would serve them right to allow Purebloods to breed themselves out of existence, leaving the wizarding world to halfbloods and muggleborns. I've read one or two stories that have expounded on that thought.
Kokopelli replied:
The problem with including backstory is knowing when to stop.
The short answer as to how Astoria got born was that both Malcolm and Grace were surprised. Life's like that.
The quote that Grace attributes to Malcolm is actually a paraphrase of something said by Pope John Paul II (I'm not Catholic, but I thought he was a man with deep insights.).
M.J.L. 337 posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 10:15am
Love this story!
Kokopelli replied:
Me too!
Noble Korhedron posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 10:14am
LMAO! Poor Daph! Sisters - PAH!! :-P
Kokopelli replied:
I grew up with two sisters!
diagonalpumpkin posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 10:06am
This chapter totally made my morning! Thank you :) Though now I'm afraid of the big drop that is coming. I love the characters and the relationships you have been building. The scene between Daphne and her mother was absolutely wonderful. Keep up the excellent work. And I was wondering if Harry would be able to tell me how he feels about Hermione.
Kokopelli replied:
Thanks for your kind words.
Harry's not much for expression of emotions.
migele posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 9:13am
Sweet story. I liked that conquest part and you skipping harry inheriting a huge harem. The progression is slow and steady. Not so much steamy or overly romantic. A nice mix of waff and growing up sort of. I'm not using fluff because while sweet it does not have that overly sweet romance. So totally approved from my side and gains a place on my hard drive. Read you later Migi
Kokopelli replied:
You know, I've never understood the attraction of having a harem.
Having been married for 30+ years, the notion of having multiple women in my life, all of whom could be mad at me at the same time is not very appealing.
Kara posted a comment on Friday 7th November 2014 7:54am
Meh. Cleavage is nice to have (I'm an E cup) but it can also distract from getting the job done. Too many males lock their eyes on the boobies and don't seem to realize that I (or any woman) is about a foot north of them. Having a guy look you in the eyes when we're talking is unusual, so, Meh.
Kokopelli replied:
Harry _was_ looking Daphne in the eyes.
People are often unsatisfied with what they have. As a father of daughters I've watched this endlessly. Girls with straight hair want curls, girls with curly hair want straight, tall girls want to be short, short girls want to be tall, etc.
My mother (now in her 90's) was unhappy with her ample bosom, but one of her older sisters advised her "it's the first thing men will notice when you walk in the room."
Now, whether that's a good thing or not I suppose will depend on context.
diagonalpumpkin posted a comment on Thursday 6th November 2014 9:47pm
Thank you for another wonderful chapter. I can hardly wait for the next one.
RaphaelYervantian posted a comment on Saturday 8th November 2014 6:45pm
Kokopelli replied: