By kokopelli
Reviews
Frank Hacklander posted a comment on Tuesday 4th November 2014 12:00am
This is brilliant. I love how understated things are before you deliver the zinger line. And, more importantly, i am glad you have gotten over your fascination with things Ginny....Yes, I know, but how well this is going just proves my point. Either you have become a much better writer or your focus on her held you back. I cannot wait for the next bit so please hurry it along...or not as the spirit moves you. Just know that I think this is one of your better works, if not the best (so far, anyway.)
Kokopelli replied:
I am not now, nor have I ever been a shipper. The early bulk of my work was limited in ship because the places that archived it (Sugarquill, Phoenix Song, Sink into your eyes) were all H/G only archives.
I got kicked off my first archive (Sugarquill) for writing a short story in which Harry even contemplated whether he felt more than friendship with Hermione - the story was open ended, with no distinct clue as to how it ended.
Once I began to use FFA as my exclusive archive (thank you, Tim), I started writing stuff that wasn't H/G. The stories I consider some of my best (Lost and Found and These Dreams with Jeconais) are non-H/G stories.
By and large, in the fan-fic world the Harmonians have won, notwithstanding the close of canon and the epilogue.
Thanks for writing. I'll be posting (Lord willing) every Friday until the story is done. I'm finishing chapter 6 right now. Chapters 4 and 5 are much longer than the preceding chapters.
Dale Dietzman posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 10:18pm
This is coming together really, really well. I have long been something of a fan of Harry-Daphne stories although too many of them don't take realistic "takeoff points". The accidental betrothal via Voldemort, and conquest, is much better than the "forgotten contract" so often used to link Harry up with Daphne, Susan Bones or other young ladies. The combination of the looming deadline and the lonely Harry with Daphne hoping to make it work (and Hermione egging her on while giving her insider information) is very much a realistic scenario for how a Harry-Daphne marriage might come about. I like that you haven't made her the semi-traditional "raving beauty" and have instead made her a lot like Harry's one close girl friend, his surrogate-sister Hermione. I think he had the opportunity to fall in love with Hermione, sweaty way and all, but unless it happens mutually it would be a disappointing marriage, although likely far more happy than either HErmione-Ron or Harry-Ginny, unless Ginny took a real turn away from her mother, which seems unlikely.
Kokopelli replied:
I'm known for deconstructing fanfic cliches and running with scissors.
WhiteElfElder posted a comment on Sunday 2nd November 2014 12:04am
Looks like Harrysomehow reversed things and it was the father that was apologizing and uncomfortable instead of the "date". Harry really sanitized what he told the Greengrasses about his life.
Kokopelli replied:
Malcolm doesn't believe that other people should solve his problems, and he's managed to snare Harry in a Greengrass problem, hence the apology.
Yes, Harry's recitation of his childhood was santized, but it was true.
FeNo posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2014 5:33pm
Thanks for clarifying that bit for me, after reading her heartfelt analysis of the way for a woman to treat Harry Potter it seemed a bit ambivalent, if not outright dubious that she would truly NOT be interested in the sweaty side, it read more like she knew he never would see her that way and her role now would be trusted friend and supporter of any relationship he really would try to delve into... If it is "mutual" i think the wording slipped a bit off during your writing of the chapter and it got a bit more "harmonious" than you had intended. That Daphne also seemed to be disbelieving her did no favor to your intended outcome either.
I actually loved to see that other review / comment on how Hermoine is aiding and abetting the enemy with this, but is she really? I don't think so, she's strictly protecting Harry and his feelings from being hurt another time... as both ways for this to end (either the wonders of mawwiage or Daphne squibbing out into the muggle world and Harry feeling responsible) have the potential to do a lot of damage in the kind of personality she so patiently describes to Daphne... he knows not of shades of grey, all his life was either black or white and if all your living memory is a struggle for survival you can't be all that big on second chances... They CAN happen, just think of the broom incident or the Prince's book or of Ron being forgiven for leaving him both during the Tournament and the Horcrux hunt... but it seems less likely with a person he barely knows before the rift in the first place.
Hermione knows they are on a very short schedule, 20 days or whatever is left, is not much and in Harry's situation seems absurdly little. Giving Daphne a little "how to handle him" cheat sheet is the only chance they'll get to work it out for themselves without the weight on Harry's conscience being the major influence on his decision and thus leading to a nagging guilt in both of them for the rest of their married lives... I've seen Hermione's extensive tipps as a way to get them on the footing one would expect from people going on first dates with the bumps and creases that would prevent Harry from reacting "normal" ironed out a bit... And i'm pretty sure a sligth hinch that this all might become a factor was the reason Harry sent her the mirror in the first place, it might have started as getting somebody to bounce of ideas for himself to get his mind clearer in this whole messed up situation, but it turned out nice that way too. Good old Hermione.
Kokopelli replied:
Hermione here, Mr Kokopelli asked me to respond to this review. What's that, oh, I'm sorry, it's just Kokopelli, no Mister.
Let me make a few things clear. I love Harry - he was my first friend in the Magical world, and I owe my life to him. I'd like to think that I've made his life better, I know he's made my life richer (and less rigid). I love Harry. That being said, I'm really not interested in becoming the next Mrs Potter, but I do want Harry to be happy.
I don't know if Daphne's the girl for Harry. It's obvious that there's some chemistry there - he wouldn't have gone to all the trouble to make a communicating mirror and having it messengered to Australia to talk to me if there was nothing there.
Yes, Daphne's on a schedule - I wish that wasn't so, but I gave up on wishing a long time ago.
I told Daphne about Harry not to meddle in his life (okay, I'm meddling a little) but to smooth the way. I'd like him to be happy, and he's had such a wretched life - and been alone so much of his life. He was so happy when he was with Ginny, if Daphne can bring that joy to his life, more power to her.
I don't think of it a cheating, just applying a little knowledge as a catalyst. Okay, it is cheating, just a little, but it's for the greater good, right?
Kokopelli says I'm to tell you thanks for reviewing.
Wolfric posted a comment on Saturday 1st November 2014 3:03am
Fine chapter. Thanks for writing. W.
Kokopelli replied:
Thanks for reading.
Brian64 posted a comment on Friday 31st October 2014 6:02pm
It's probably a bad habit to get into, but I tend to look at any existing reviews before posting my own. I like to see what others have already picked up on or perhaps have overlooked so that I can try to fill in any gaps and save time repeating what others have already written. The downside, like now, is when your reviewers have already said what I'd say. Alrighty then... - Mr Rufus is proving to be an interesting character, and I wondered what he was going to do with himself after sorting out Bill and Ted. I'm hoping his blessing to Harry and Daphne will go something like 'be excellent to each other.' He also seems to be demonstrating 'Harryistic' levels of competency and ability (as used in other stories). - Interesting that you went with La Mer - I was hoping for Clair de lune even if it might have been a more cliched choice... and now I have to dig out my old cds. :) - There isn't much I can say about any of the scenes with Harry & Daphne, Harry & Hermione or Daphne & Hermione that haven't already been said. They were a true pleasure to read and I enjoyed all of them immensely It's going to be a loooooong week waiting for the next chapter. I don't suppose you can lend me Mr Rufus and a telephone box? Thanks again for sharing your writing.
Kokopelli replied:
Mr Rufus is available at what Ragnok considers reasonable rates, but I'm afraid you'll have to contact him (Ragnok) directly.
FeNo posted a comment on Friday 31st October 2014 5:02pm
I hope she'll only have sons O.o And some people are already moaning about Hermione as a stuffy and antiquated name :D
But seriously, the mirror talk was classy, very insightful and moved the story along a really gigantic piece of the way. Meeting the Greengrasses was fun and showing them as understanding and humble was a big deal after Andromeda got Harry nervous with the "but it's important" ideas about his dressing up... :D And i like how your background for Malcolm is so different from the usual fanfic fare. 110 and father of two teenagers? That was a pleasant surprise, just like the complete lack of primate-like posturing about the whole marriage thing...
Hmmm, the Hermione bit was a bit weird... not per se but in the subtext... she almost sounds as if she IS in love, but knows Harry does not need her, but another kind of personality that can level out his quirks and moods better than her bossyness or let's call it assertive behavior, so she acts in the classical cliché sense of if you can't make him happy, be happy for him if he finds that with somebody else. I wonder where that will lead and if it will make the whole affair more or less complicated.
Kokopelli replied:
Hermione DOES love Harry, but not like that.
One of the shortcomings of modern society is its confusion of love and sex. Men can love one another deeply without wanting to swap bodily fluids, and the same goes for men and women.
Yes, true and enduring love is friendship that's caught fire, but the abiding faithful love of a friend is nothing to be sneezed at. Hermione loves Harry, and is totally dedicated to him, but she doesn't want to bear his children, and knows that she's not the one for him, or he for her.
At least, not in this story.
Pennywise posted a comment on Friday 31st October 2014 4:13pm
Awesome chapter.
Kokopelli replied:
Not as awesome as what's coming...
Mionefan posted a comment on Friday 31st October 2014 4:03pm
Ahh, a most satisfying chapter. I knew the retrievel of Hermione's parents would be difficult and that JKR really didn't address that. Astoria is cute in this story and I'd like to see more of her. That they are competitive is easily understood, as both my sisters were until they married.
A bit of a snog there...well done! Looking forward to the next chapter and a little action if you can manage it.
Kokopelli replied:
There will be "action" but this is not an easy, or linear story. Bear with me, please.
Kinsfire posted a comment on Friday 31st October 2014 3:38pm
"I love Harry, but not in the sweaty sense of the word" may be one of the best ways of phrasing that I've ever seen. Funny, but gets the point across.
I am looking forward to seeing where this goes.
Kokopelli replied:
Actually, that's a slightly recycled line from "Ever After" my one H/Hr fic. Glad you like the story.
AlexPublius posted a comment on Friday 31st October 2014 3:35pm
Great fic, but I have to say the highlight so far was the conversation between Hermione and Daphne from this chapter. Great psychological insight into Harry, and it bodes well for the prospective relationship that Daphne comes to know this early on. Thanks for the chapter, and keep up the good work!
Kokopelli replied:
Hermione really does understand Harry, more than Harry does at times.
Riegert8 posted a comment on Friday 31st October 2014 2:10pm
It not a shock that Ron said something stupid
Kokopelli replied:
No, indeed.
Harry would have done much better at Hogwarts without Ron.
I find with time that I'm less and less patient with slacker Ron and find very little redeeming in his character.
BJH posted a comment on Friday 31st October 2014 1:29pm
Nice to see Hermione again. I particularly like it that you didn't have her parents immediately understand and/or forgive Hermione for stealing their lives because a 17 year old girl OBVIOUSLY knows better than her parents!
I did find it curious that, given how hard you are working to avoid the cliches of fandom, such as the Daphne as Ice Queen one, that you fell back on the "Harry doesn't know what love is" thing. I've always felt it was Dumbledore and Snape who didn't know what love was and Harry, with loads of experience in what love is not and the shining example of what love truly is, that knows better than most. He might be experienced with women, but how many 17 year olds are?
It might be amusing to have Daphne invite Susan to pursue Harry, just to give an obvious choice, or at least a taste of what it might be like if he chooses not to marry at 18.
And I loved the line where Astoria says, if you marry her then I get to move into her bedroom.
BJH
Kokopelli replied:
Harry understands sacrifice - but beyond that he really doesn't have a lot of experience with healthy human relationships. Don't get me started on Snape (or Dumbledore).
He knows that love involves dying, but beyond that, it's a mystery.
noylj posted a comment on Friday 31st October 2014 1:29pm
Harry has been controlled and manipulated all his life. A betrothal, to him, would just be more of the same. If any thing, he would try to get out and then, if interested, he might try dating her. Just curious—is she plain or what? Did your Harry really love/care for Ginny? I would suspect a week or two in the muggle world will be too much for MoRon.
Kokopelli replied:
Harry is free to act here, and is responding accordingly.
Daphne is plain - most people are.
Harry really cared for Ginny - they just never got a chance to reconnect.
Ron's actually having the time of his life. He's not coming back from China for a long while.
Noble Korhedron posted a comment on Friday 31st October 2014 12:26pm
Great chapter. More ASAP please?! :-D
Kokopelli replied:
Every week on Friday.
Crys posted a comment on Friday 31st October 2014 12:23pm
Oh, forgot a couple things:
good pacing on Harry/Daphne. Slow but believable. Andi's poking her nose in, but not enough to really be obnoxious about it.
Daphne and the "midget". I can see Daphne's PoV much easier, but that's probably because I'm the eldest in my family as well. I never had an "older brother/sister" to look up to, so I can't decide whether Grace's comment about Astoria being worried for her is correct or just naive, wishful thinking on the mother's part.
And a Happy Hallowe'en to you as well.
Kokopelli replied:
Andi and Grace are both trying to walk the fine line of encouraging without smothering.
How are they doing?
The Astoria/Daphne conflict will get larger - just wait.
Crys posted a comment on Friday 31st October 2014 12:17pm
GardenGirl is an organic beta? I'd hope so. I hate to think what kind of job an artificial beta would do.
Mr. Rufus is an interesting conundrum. Good to see you're keeping the mystery alive.
. . . a Red Cap. Okay, aside from the eye-rolling bad joke considering his appearance, Hermione immediately thinks he's a goblin. So I hit the Lexicon. Okay, the hat makes more sense, but now I'm more than a little concerned about his presence. Hmm. Wonder how that's going to work out.
So, figured out a way to bring Hermione in, but not present. Couple conversations she has with the hero and heroine. Good author's way to present info for both, to both.
Neatly taken care of Ginny and Ron, too, I noticed.
> "Tradition is inherited wisdom, not random, arbitrary laws." I like that quote.
"Granuaile". I was just going to write it off as grain/granule from a long-term farmer's family. Now you you're making me look it up.
Interesting story thus far. Looking forward to more.
Kokopelli replied:
Rufus is a hit-man. If you want someone to do a protective detail, who better to assign?
Yes, the hat is a visual pun.
Granuaile is the name of an Irish female pirate captain - she sailed the seas during the reign of Queen Elizabeth.
Now writing Chapter 6.
The Seeker posted a comment on Friday 31st October 2014 11:46am
It's probably worth saying one more time: your writing isn't rusty or labored at all. As with the previous chapters, this one flowed well, had remarkable exchanges between very interesting characters, and the plot moved as a bit more toward the final denouement. All in all, this is fine writing, and I'm greatly appreciative of the time, effort and talent you've put into entertaining us.
Mr. Rufus is an incredible original character. I've not come across anyone in HP fan fiction that comes close to him. You've really got him down since his way of speaking, personality and actions have remained consistent since you introduced him. He is a novel and intriguing addition to the story. Malcolm was a revelation, because he was much more 'human' and self-effacing than I expected. Several times, he said he wasn't doing a good job in explaining an issue, for instance, and he was much more down-to-earth and open, despite being from one of the oldest familes in Britain. His desire to work with Harry to remove society from the morass of the current pureblood domination was very welcome. Grace continues to be charming and an actual mother, which is always surprising in a pureblood household. The relationship between Daphne and the 'midget' is funny and fairly typical when two siblings are both intelligent and competitive. I do believe Astoria would aggressively go after Harry, if he and Queenie don't work out.
I like how you've put Hermione in a counselor position to both Harry and Daphne and used the mirrors to do this. Harry desperatedly need her advice, since he's clueless, and Daphne will benefit greatly from Hermione's insights, since how Harry reacts is oftentimes opposite of what would be expected, which would spell disaster for the relationship.
Finally, the development of the Daphne/Harry relationship is going at the right pace, though it is a slow one. Given Harry's lack of social skills, anything faster wouldn't be right, though, I have the feeling something may happen that will move the relationship into a faster lane. The only niggling concern I have is that Harry will be influenced by the fact that Daphne will lose her magic if they don't wed by the Solstice, outside or beyond whatever he feels towards her. Incredible visual with Daphne creating a platform for Harry to faciliate their short snog. How tall do you envision Daphne, and Harry, too, for that matter?
Thanks for the Halloween treat - can't imagine a better one! - The Seeker
Kokopelli replied:
By training Mr. Rufus (and no, I don't know any name for him other than this) is a hit man.
With Malcolm, I'm trying to reveal a character who's incredibly old, but still vital. He takes the long-long view of things.
Grace is the wicked step mother, so of course since this is one of my tales, she's sweet, dedicated and loving - to both daughters.
You're going to see more of Grace, and Astoria, in the next two chapters.
Harry's not particularly worried about Daphne's losing her magic, he's just trying to make the right decision.
The tricks are coming...
Chris1 posted a comment on Friday 31st October 2014 9:59am
I'm loving Harry and Hermione's relationship in this. I love it when they're so obviously best friends :D
Kokopelli replied:
I'm not a shipper - really! Hermione truly and fiercely loves Harry - but she doesn't want to swap bodily fluids with him. Theres a scene in the next chapter when you'll get to see how Harry feels about Hermione.
Patches posted a comment on Tuesday 4th November 2014 5:48am
Kokopelli replied: