Jabe Washburn1 posted a comment on Wednesday 7th March 2007 10:34am for Back home - another life - Part II

Good stuff. Can't wait to see how it ends.

I especially loved the conversation between Ron and Harry. Any scence that can make me laugh out loud is a winner in my book - mind you, I laugh out lout a lot, but then, I read a lot, too.

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Thursday 2nd November 2006 8:44am for Back home - another life - Part II

The depression makes sense. I've never read that anywhere else.

Harry being 'raised by wolves' also rings true as an anology.

I like Gabrielle's dedication to doing the right thing.

Excellent work!

brad posted a comment on Saturday 5th August 2006 2:37pm for Back home - another life - Part II

(I haven't printed/read the third part yet)

Sometimes I almost forget to peruse the 'final' version of your chapters posted here, in case I miss anything you add after your LJ previews. Like the chat between Harry and Ron, which was good; more padding to the idea of Harry's taking medicine to control his depression, which made that thread a smooth consistent sub-plot throughout the story; the reference to Ron's 6th & 7th year romances ("he was an idiot that year" - good summation. Him and Hermione both); and references to the growing H/Gabrielle relationship that extended it over time, made it more real.

I thought the last scene with Gabrielle and Hermione was a bit incongruous, with Hermione being out of character - (1) I don't think she'd make jokes about chocolate!naked!Gabrielle - she's always seemed prim and proper in canon; (2) for someone so close to Harry (none closer!), and showing her concern for him in her second-last sentence, her last bit of dialogue, a casual "good luck, you'll need it", while *stifling a yawn*???? Seemed like she lost interest in her best friend's welfare all of a sudden.

Looking forward to reading the next part tomorrow (I'm saving it until then)

Viridian posted a comment on Saturday 5th August 2006 12:43pm for Back home - another life - Part II

I laughed out loud when I saw the author notes. Runsamok is highly amused now. (I'm just glad you didn't say she was fast and easy...)

I liked the conversation between Harry and Neville. I could see two old friends talking like that - and their relationships with Hermione are very apparent in the way they related. Was there a hint of unspoken menace when Harry told Neville to 'take good care of her'.

The blow-up was a little quick. You'd think people dating that long might have become a bit better at reading each other and understanding what they are saying. I could see Harry being a bit thick, but I pictured Gabby being a bit more perceptive.

And what is so hard about setting up a long distance relationship between two people like Harry and Gabrielle? Both can apparate and/or use international port-keys, and Harry doesn't even have to work?

"I've signed on with the French Bureau to make a bit of pocket money. Do you have a place in Paris, or would you rather just meet on weekends?"

After all the globe-hopping they did in chapter 1, this jarred me a little as a 'serious issue they needed to discuss'.

The slower buildup of the relationship was nice though.

Particle_Accelerator posted a comment on Friday 4th August 2006 3:25am for Back home - another life - Part II

This is a REALLY good "drabble". Hope to see more of it sometime soon.

Darkness posted a comment on Thursday 3rd August 2006 7:56am for Back home - another life - Part II

Wow, I never did expect Harry to react like that, but then again this is Harry so I guess he was too shocked, and then angered at what he thought was a break-up to think cleary. Hmm, it was quite the evil twist.

I liked how you wrote Gabrielle at the end of this chapter. The way she handled the situation seemed so real. I hope we get to see the fall-out of this chapter soon; I also hope Harry calms himself down enough to think rationally and do something quick.

You really have hooked now.

Shadow High Angel posted a comment on Thursday 3rd August 2006 7:44am for Back home - another life - Part II

Even better than the first, and i am very happy we did not have to wait too long. Can't wait for the third to find out where Harry went to this time.

Musings of Apathy posted a comment on Thursday 3rd August 2006 6:32am for Back home - another life - Part II

Rather excellent story. I look forward to this continuing. I thought the problem that Harry had latched onto would be that she had made the decission without talking to him. That is something that can be forgiven in a marriage, but not as easily in a non-fully committed relationship. But I have to admit, how she worded it did sound like a goodbye. And starting out with the being out of money was the worst way to approach it. She should have started with asking what he would think of her doing the occasional assignment again.

Well, live and learn, hopefully.

Thank you for writing.

Mike (MoA)

saugart posted a comment on Thursday 3rd August 2006 12:39am for Back home - another life - Part II

I think the situation you have set up at the end of this chapter is interesting and well-done.

I like Gabrielle's devotion to Duty. I wish that she had emphasized the chance to save innocent human lives; this would, I think, have appealed more to Harry than the money issues.

Harry certainly should not have run out like that, something I'll remember if I'm ever in a similar situation :).

DiverSam posted a comment on Thursday 3rd August 2006 12:39am for Back home - another life - Part II

This has been very good. You characters are well drawn and thought out. Harry's character, with hsi depression is very thoughtful. Looking forward to more.

Jarrod posted a comment on Thursday 3rd August 2006 12:26am for Back home - another life - Part II

Wow...very nice, Post-Hogwarts stuff can get kinda scetchy but you are pulling it off nicely.

Kokopelli replied:

Actually, I disagree - I find the Hogwarts stuff to be very restrictive - rather like training wheels.   You've got to write about Quidditch and the teachers and the house rivalry - which is all well and good, but there are other things I want to write about - and besides, who wants to go back to boarding school?

Crys posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 11:22pm for Back home - another life - Part II

Oh, Gabrielle . . . Yes, Harry over-reacted to what you said, but you KNOW he's an emotional mess with serious abandonment issues.

That chocolate sauce visual is very intriguing, John. *leer*

BTW, Hermione's husband (Neville) is painting his mother's parlour? Uh, Alice Longbottom is in St. Mungo's, isn't she?

Still, fun story.

Kokopelli replied:

I left a clue in the narration:

The remainder of the summer passed in a blur.   Neville and Hermione married in a small ceremony at the end of June, attended by Neville’s parents and the extended Weasley clan, with a reception held on the grounds of Hogwarts.   Padma gave birth to a strapping blue-eyed, black-haired girl on Harry’s birthday.

The same procedure that was used to bring Hermione back was also used for the Longbottoms - but since I'm not writing that story (this is, after all, a drabble on steroids) it's just so much backstory.

As to the chocolate sauce - write what you know.  

Ghirardelli's is much better than Hershey's, btw.

PhishBulb posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 6:01pm for Back home - another life - Part II

I'm really liking this so far. It's different. It isn't easy. It's enjoyable to read a story with some complexity in the characters, even if this is just a "drabble" (Although I'm hoping you have the same definition of drabble as Jeconais apparently does).

I'm trying not to be too judgmental on the whole break-up thing. The only thing I'm sure about is that I really hope you don't have them jumping back together next chapter. I wouldn't even take a side in this whole thing except for the fact that Harry's pretty fucked up. By now Gabrielle should know that. If she wanted this whole thing to work out it seems as if she could have handled it a hell of a lot better. Maybe subconsciously she just didn't want the hassle of being with someone like Harry and tried to make him be the one to break it off. Regardless, I'll be looking forward to seeing where you take things next.

BTW: "today my husband is at his mum’s house, painting the parlour," Hermione said primly."

I'm sorry if this is clearly written out somewhere but shouldn't Neville's mum be in the hospital?

Kokopelli replied:

Well, I'll only write one reply to your identical reviews (gotta watch that trigger finger, Tex.)

Neither Gabrielle nor Harry are mature, seasoned, whole adults.   Each of them have their own issues and baggage, which sometimes makes for tragic mistakes.   Love covers a multitude of sins, but they haven't had a chance to apply that yet, have they?

Right now, I only have one more chapter planned, so I'll have to disappoint you on that front.

As to Neville - you missed the clue:

The remainder of the summer passed in a blur.   Neville and Hermione married in a small ceremony at the end of June, attended by Neville’s parents and the extended Weasley clan, with a reception held on the grounds of Hogwarts.   Padma gave birth to a strapping blue-eyed, black-haired girl on Harry’s birthday.

The same procedure that healed Hermione's mind was able to recover the Longbottoms as well.

Lira posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 4:47pm for Back home - another life - Part II

*sobs* I hope she manages to finish the job soon and then can go looking for Harry. But this is a brilliant story. Other than Jeconais' Hope (and one or two one-shots), that's the first Harry/Gabrielle that I really liked! Outstanding story! Next chapter soon, please! :)

Kokopelli replied:

How many other Gabrielle stories are there?   I'm aware of mine (Maskirova) and Hope and now this one.

CootiePatootie posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 2:22pm for Back home - another life - Part II

NOOOOOOOOOOOO what is it with Harry and the cluelessness??? In all seriousness, this is a good update. Ron and Harry's interaction is quite funny - the tending sprogs, or not tending them as the case may be, was the topic around *this* house tonight, too! :-) and Serita is a lovely name.

Love Hermione and Gaby's interaction at the end - the "shagging of your life" too funny!

I enjoyed this installment and I look forward to the next.

Cheers,

Cassie

Kokopelli replied:

Harry's always been clueless.

My neighbors are Indian, and their daughter (my daughter's age) is named Serita.   I'm terrible at names, so I steal them all the time.

Everyone expects newlyweds to be in bed all the time.   I will admit that for the first year of my married life (1982) that my wife and I were late for a lot of meetings.

KateHC posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 1:42pm for Back home - another life - Part II

For a Drabble, this is pretty darn good. Gabrielle is growing on me.

Evan Mayerle posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 12:39pm for Back home - another life - Part II

Oh, my! Gabrielle is very definitely going to need luck to find him again and then talk to him about matters. I don't envy either of them.

Jamey posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 12:31pm for Back home - another life - Part II

She's going to need *LOTS* of luck - I suspect that if Harry wanted to, he could be at least as good a Tracker as she is - which means he is likely to be much better at hiding from one than her normal targets. In part, she only found him because he didn't know she was coming. Now he does.

94caddy posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 11:58am for Back home - another life - Part II

No fair with the cliff hanger. Cant wait for the next update.

Ken Warner posted a comment on Wednesday 2nd August 2006 11:14am for Back home - another life - Part II

don't want to tar and or feather either one (plucked veela... yetch!) just tie him down and pour some sense into his head

love it - thanks for sharing