Nytefyre posted a comment on Sunday 24th February 2013 2:12am for Broken Pieces - Part III

What do you mean no chocolate sauce was harmed? I fully expect my fanfic to be better road tested than that!! ;)

Enjoyed the story with the nice progression of the relationship, even though it started from a very dark place. It was nice to see some improvements as time progressed - and it progressed very quickly.

Thanks for posting!

Riegert8 posted a comment on Monday 19th September 2011 4:20pm for Broken Pieces - Part III

I was surprise that Harry end up working with the Superintendent, you made her so easy person to dislike.

Superintendent seem OK that some of her Aurors committed Sexual assaults, they suppose to uphold the law not to break it. Oh sure some of them could be by mistake, but it no mistake when use a spell to peep on someone when then change. Or when you grab her bum and put you hand in her blouse, In my opinion an couple of Aurors deserve to get fired and charge with a crime for Sexual assault

perspicacity posted a comment on Sunday 26th July 2009 11:12am for Broken Pieces - Part III

I understand you're in retirement and may not read reviews quite as avidly as you may have before, but I wanted to mention that I find this story to be the best Harry/Gabrielle tale I've read, better writing than Tim's (which are the gold standard of this pairing). I've a short list of stories that I keep that I feel taught me something important about writing. Yours is on the list.

I enjoyed the spartan style and if you opt to continue writing, I encourage you to stick with it. The brisk pace kept things moving and let you deal with some pretty heavy emotions without the story becoming annoying. In particular, you did an outstanding job with Harry's depression and overall emotional state. This is a case where trimming was definitely the right decision.

Thanks so much for sharing this piece.

Kokopelli replied:

Retired is not dead...

Lost and Found is a favorite of mine as well - writing post-Hogwarts, non-canon pairing stories was, in a way, quite liberating.   Jeconais did his total mix-up of canon pairings in his trilogy that started off with no pairing, then H-G, then H-Samantha.   This trilogy probably contributed in some small way to this one - Hermione and Neville, yeah, I could see that.  

Ron & one of the Patils?   Talk about a blank slate...


When I wrote TLOS, I was trying to write big - big chapters, big story arcs.   After TLOS, I shifted direction and tried to write using a more compressed style.   The depression bit is a bit of biography - I had a three year spell of depression (untreated) which I finally resolved with Welbutrin and the good advice of my wife, so I'm writing a bit of what I know there.

Thanks for reading.

GryffindorDragon posted a comment on Wednesday 4th March 2009 5:16am for Broken Pieces - Part III

Very cute and heart-warming (well mostly, apart from all the deaths). But I hope you don't mind if I say that I find the ending a bit set-up, a little too cutsy. But don't mind that observation. This is well-written and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

TxA_GunFighter posted a comment on Wednesday 30th May 2007 8:42am for Broken Pieces - Part III

Good chapter.

gunny

Jabe Washburn1 posted a comment on Thursday 8th March 2007 4:35am for Broken Pieces - Part III

I enjoyed that. I never know whether to be disappointed when short fics end, or just to smile and accept that it was intended to leave me wanting more... though, I guess there is more to this one, sort of.

Christina C. Keimig posted a comment on Wednesday 14th February 2007 6:08am for Broken Pieces - Part III

Loved it! The update has been sitting in my in-box for months and months, and I'm finally getting to it...still have 216 backlogged updates, so don't be offended. You know I love your stuff!

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Thursday 2nd November 2006 9:08am for Broken Pieces - Part III

Just what I expect in a Kokpelli:

- tight story line
- excellent dialogue
- unique perspectives
- nicely tied together bits and pieces

A good times was had by all!

noylj posted a comment on Thursday 24th August 2006 1:13pm for Broken Pieces - Part III

Now, how about going back and writing the rest of the story. This is just a small taste of what the reader should be getting.

Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Thursday 10th August 2006 11:29am for Broken Pieces - Part III

I am loved this story. I am also very interested in anything you care to share regarding the above mentioned anit depressant. I am currently sufferring from said condition and wonder what the effects... not the clinical ones, but how the meds make you feel.

If you would email me, I would appreciate it!
usa.jeanette@gmail.com

Manatheron posted a comment on Tuesday 8th August 2006 3:43pm for Broken Pieces - Part III

{Snicker}

Love the ending, It'd have been a little more funny if she had taken a random shot over her shoulder as a warning before she knew who it was, but that would have probably ruined the moment.

:)

Excellent work! I can't wait for the next one!

cmzanna posted a comment on Monday 7th August 2006 7:46am for Broken Pieces - Part III

John, like all your stories I finished this with a grin and a plaintive wish for more :) thanks for the fun read and a very believable premise.

Crys posted a comment on Sunday 6th August 2006 11:11pm for Broken Pieces - Part III

> No chocolate sauce was harmed in the writing of this story.

How . . . unfortunate. Though if it was, you may lose your NSNS status.

Fun little story, Kokopelli. Showing Gabrielle as a young, yet strong and competent professional was a nice touch. Her problems with the male co-workers sounds very reasonable under the circumstances.

Thanks for sharing.

Jamie posted a comment on Sunday 6th August 2006 10:44pm for Broken Pieces - Part III

always enjoy a good gabrielle story, great stuff

The Resident posted a comment on Sunday 6th August 2006 6:47pm for Broken Pieces - Part III

'No chocolate sauce was harmed in the writing of this story.' What? You didn't try it out with your significant other? I thought you were supposed to research your work. -grin- Actually, I liked this chapter very much and I actually prefer reading stories that pair Harry with someone other than Ginny or Hermione (there are enough of those stories out there already - both good and bad. I always enjoy the easy flow of your stories and the excellent work of your beta. Keep up the great work.

a_wanderer posted a comment on Sunday 6th August 2006 2:39pm for Broken Pieces - Part III

Better living through chemistry. I'm glad you found an anti-depressant which works for you.

NTP

Antosha posted a comment on Saturday 5th August 2006 8:43pm for Broken Pieces - Part III

Now, how did you know I was fond of Ghirardelli chocolate? ;-)

Lovely.

It's nice to see you write a something more straight-line and novella-like. The story is no less compelling for being efficient--just different than your more... ambitious efforts.

I loved the connection between Denali and Cyprus--talk about a stretch! And yet it made perfect sense. I loved Harry's relationship with Hermione here.

And Gabrielle--as I said, I admire her all the more for NOT going off to find Harry again immediately.

Nicely done!

Viridian posted a comment on Saturday 5th August 2006 1:01pm for Broken Pieces - Part III

"I don’t know which is more disturbing; visualizing Gabrielle like that, or the fact that you suggested it," Harry said, raising his eyebrow.

That had me laughing out loud, startling the dog.

The resolution was kind of like an avalanche (as far as telegraphing is concerned), but was satisfying nonetheless.

I imagine that Wizarding France is going to become painfully law-abiding in the near future.

Oh, and "Quickdraw" says hello.

cmatbmed posted a comment on Saturday 5th August 2006 10:37am for Broken Pieces - Part III

Fun story thanks. Just a suggestion but why not go ahead and write the 50 - 100,000 words. Most of us wouldn't mind ;-)

MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Saturday 5th August 2006 9:21am for Broken Pieces - Part III

It was a very good story, but I would like to see more. Maybe the plot bunny will hit you and you could add to it.

Thanks For Writing
MPF

Kokopelli replied:

I actually have two story lines - one starts up right where this left off, the other is about ten years in the future at a Weasley family reunion.   The first is Harry's POV, the second is story-telling by Gabrielle in answer to the question : "If we are Weasleys, why don't we have red hair?"

I have other stories in the queue, however, and work, and my family, so don't expect to see anything soon.   Unless, of course, I start to travel again.

So, where are you stationed?